Photo by Ani Babayan
You know it’s love when a day doesn’t pass without him.
You know it’s love when you think about what he wears and what he eats more than you think about yourself.
You know it’s love when he is somewhere though safe but you still hope nothing bad will happen to him.
You know it’s love when you are ready to do everything for him, even if it’s letting him go.
You know it’s love when he says “how are you” and you suddenly become happiest even if before hearing his voice you were in the gloomiest mood.
You know it’s love when he is interesting to you more than anything else.
You know it’s love when you know what he loves and try to make him happy with those things even if it’s just a smile.
You know it’s love when he says “i’m not feeling okay” and your whole world turns upside down.
You know it’s love when he says “i miss you” and your whole world warms up and you want to shout “so do i.”
You know it’s love when he holds your hand and your hands start shaking because of what happens inside you.
You know it’s love when he kisses you the tenth time and it always feels like the first time.
You know it’s love when you always have that fear that one day you might lose him and that fear kills you but at the same time always keeps you alarmed not to change and to remain the person he once fell in love with.
You know it’s love when you clearly know his disadvantages, yet love them too because real love gives wings and hope for the better but never illusions.
You know it’s love when everything inside seems to be messed up.
You know it’s love when his pain seems to be your pain.
You know it’s love when the crystal tears fall down your eyes despite your efforts to hold them back.
You know it’s love when you flip through his pictures every day thousand times and yet every time look at them as if it’s the first time and with the same loving eyes.
You know it’s love when not only your bed seems empty without him, but also your body and soul seem to be half cut, without his warm embrace.
You know it’s love when his words seem to be the dearest tales and his letters the best books to read over and over again.
You know it’s love when you picture your lover, and you see him, when you picture you husband and you see him, when you picture the father of your kids and you see him…
You know it’s love when you can’t imagine waking up alone or with someone else but not him.
You know it’s love when the only person you’d love to see on your birthday is him.
You know it’s love when even at hearing his name your mood changes, your face expression changes, you kind of activate and no matter how hard you try to hide all that people always notice that and say “see? how you changed in a minute?” and you say to them “no, i didn’t” while silently confess “yes, i know…”
You know it’s love… oh God, there are so many things helping know it’s love and i guess i am experiencing all of them… and i love this feeling of knowing that it’s love, even if …… and again that “if,” it never stops chasing me…
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